...Suffolk to Isolation in 12 hours.

This time yesterday I was sipping champagne at a family wedding whilst trying to grapple the pockets of joy going unnoticed. My dad progressively getting more merry whilst serenading our black lab with a Bee Gees classic, my Uncle Richard (the groom) having this wicked smirk across his face every time I caught his eye, then there's trying to find the happy medium between sticking with my vegetarian values when the veggie version of the homemade mango cheesecake doesn't set..... (**disclaimer I went and loaded my car and returned for dessert and a perfect veggie slice awaited me**)

In the 12 hours since, there's been a lot of joy but it's almost like I've descended in to prison....very surreal. Since the joys of yesterday I've been delivered a hire car and driven to an undisclosed location to isolate and form a working bubble for a production I'm working on. Warm smiles have been replaced with tired demeanors and trying to identify people; who I've only met on zoom, through the top half of their face from 5 metres away! It's going to be an odd place during the next week......

Feelings of solitude and worry are very much apparent in my mind, as anyone's would be! But pair this with your partner doing a long distance swim, in skins, which he was openly nervous about........and then not answering his phone after knowing he left the water hours ago.... is increasingly stressful the longer time goes on. I'm just hoping he's tired and has fallen asleep, or he's enjoying himself with friends at Roker and forgotten to call.... I'm hoping that's the case and being actively worried isn't going to help the situation so this is the reality I'm going to stick with until I get a formal update.....

In terms of thoughts though I'm relatively level. In the run up to today I was really worried about it. I've been increasingly anxious the closer this day had become because I knew to enter the working bubble I would be isolated from the outside world and from anyone else for at least 7 days...... At the start of this year I probably wouldn't have thought twice about this but since the initial lockdown my body and mind have associated lockdown with danger and feelings of being unsafe. To combat this feeling I decided I had to create a 'safe space', a haven and a retreat in my pod using senses to help me ground myself; touch, sight and smell being at its core. I've got room spray and diffusers from my Auntie's friend Pauline who has supplied me with gorgeous homemade vegan products. I've put up some decorative pieces from home, including some wooden fish, a yellow throw and some pictures of Michael and I on our adventures. I've also been generously #gifted a brand new Eucalyptus Mela weighted blanket to make sure I'm extra grounded at night behind a locked door. With all this in place I'm hoping over the next week this pod will begin to feel like home...... although trying to keep that in an active workspace will be the next task, but in my opinion that's future Becca's problem!